As I awakened to my reality of being buried in a chin-high rubble of pain, negative beliefs, and disconnection from the truth of joy, love, and my core pureness, I mustered, to the best of my abilities, the courage to dig and dive deep into my dumpster of ancestral, familial, and personal filth through my own process of decolonization work. Each moment, I uncovered each layer of truth, realizations, and dysfunctional illusions that plagued my life. My experiences of depression, suicidal ideation, sexual assault as a child, loss of my father at age 14, loss of my mother, stroke of my brother and many others have sparked many questions about life meaning and purpose. As I faced the bitter truth, I also faced the remarkable truth of the pureness and innocence of my core essence and soul. I entered the dawn of a new understanding that many of the things that happened to me are not entirely my fault, but products of a long history of oppression that still manifest in the current afflictive systems around me, allowing me to love and forgive myself and others for the consequent mistakes and mishaps I and others may have done as a result of my own and others’ brokenness. As I trek to a place of witnessing similar realities and stories in other peoples’ lives plagued with immense disconnection from their hearts, other people’s hearts and Mother Earth’s heart and fueled by the turbulent environment we live in today, I also see their strength through the struggles, their teachings through the learnings, their light through the darkness, their hearts through the pain, and their gems through the rubble. This sense of deep connection with others from all backgrounds further heals me in a much deeper way. In the end, the people I now serve inspire me with their resilience, grace, tenderness, and splendor. Because of my empowering, dignified, and benevolent view of myself and the people around me, I know that creating a world that we want and deserve is possible when we all come together in this journey of healing, blooming, and growing magnificence. As many of us fight for many other equally important advocacies, the resistance against the fight for the right to feel joy, self-love, connection, and happiness is also enormous. To heed the call to heal and empower our hearts, I invite you to join me and the community to enliven the suppressed positive intangible parts of our lives to make the world a better place for us and the next generation. If trees can flourish from dirt, so can We.
Amaya Tala (a.k.a. Nina Magpili-Smith)